Kerry Katona May Sing Again! Duet with Jason Donovan in the Pipeline.

On opening up my homepage on this wonderful laptop device, I was confronted by the news that Kerry Katona has suggested she may sing again!

Crusty does not need such shocking news flashed willy-nilly in front of her by Virginmedia, especially when she is still in a fragile state over the hateful, vindictive redundafying of her morning pin-up, Mark makes-y-mouth-water Warr.

Apparently Kerry has been inspired to kick-start her singing again because of the recent add campaign by Iceland - I understand that is a shopping facility for people of her breeding and not the bankrupt country.

She has told friends that she has had lots of compliments from people about her singing (they're medical staff, dear, the day centre pay them to say that sort of thing!), which in turn has restored her confidence.

If there is anything Dame Crusty can do to help knock it back down again, please let me know, as a matter of urgency.

I read in Closer, only last week, that after having 4 pints of fat sucked from her she was fighting to lose the resulting wrinkled skin around her stomach (If readers will excuse me a moment...I think Crusty has made herself sick!).

Take wise words from one who knows, poppet; Saggy skin removal, advertising boil-in-the-bag shite and a pop career are very dangerous when mixed and I do not feel you up to multi-tasking at the moment. Have a bag of crisps and watch a DVD instead

It was suggested that she may even pop up - or pop out, I'm unsure which - as a special guest on the up and coming Jason Donovan tour. Jason is rumoured to have said," She could be my next Kylie" (I think you'll need bigger hotpants, dear!).