Eastenders - Bradley and Stacey Splash Out

A week ago, Chu Me convinced me to have my box seen to.

Late at night, when he has free time and nothing much to do with his hands, he explained he likes to watch many of the specialist channels on Sky. He has always maintained a healthy fascination in such subjects, since I took him under my wing, and that is certainly clear when I come to pay his credit card bill each month.

He always looks sheepish when he brings his statement to me but I don’t even look at it and reassure him I have no objections, whatsoever, to paying for his personal development. After all, even staff must have a hobby.

Anyhoo ... he explained Sky+, the wonderful new facility you have to record your programs and even freeze live shows with the aid of something hard inside your box, without the need for a video recorder.

At first, Crusty (not technically minded at all) did not believe such a thing was possible – it sounded like a flight of fancy from an episode of Star Trek. However, I arranged for an engineer to come and put whatever he needed into my box to satisfy my faithful houseboy.

The proof of the pudding was going to be my first recording. The engineer and Chu Me had both told me how simply it was to use and I’m quite sure Chu Me found it simple as the week went on, as he had spent considerable time in his private quarters using it to record, play and rewind his specialist programs over and over again. The panting and gasps of excitement emanating from his room proved he must have grasped it.

I had set aside a specific window of time on the Saturday evening to write out my Christmas cards to my many Crustettes, scattered across the four corners of the globe. After half and hour, the recipient’s cards I had not been able to complete, I would put to one side and they may have a little more luck next year.

Overlapping this allotted window was TV Outtakes with that old chestnut, Anne Robinson - I have always had a soft spot for this vicious little minx and the contrast between her taught, youthful face and the rest of her has recently proved fascinating.

Later that evening, I went to watch my recording and SUCCESS!!! The picture quality was far improved from that of my previous model – in fact it was a little too good and the sight of dear Anne stood there in her bright red frock was quite frightening - although when she opened her mouth to speak, it did remind me to post the cards I had written earlier.

The recording was perfect and there was no need to use the rewind/fastforward facility as the programme makers had already done that for us with clever editing to stretch a few of the same outtakes over the duration of the programme.

It wasn’t the best episode I’ve seen but it certainly showed me the wonders of Sky+. Though I must admit, Crusty couldn’t stop chuckling to herself at the sight of Eastender’s Bradley fiddling with Stacey’s cherries in Dot’s kitchen and having to splatter his cream all over her hands, arms and, at one point, her hair again and again and again.

The poor dear must have been exhausted!