Is the Party Over For Danniiiiiii?

It was late last night and Crusty was sitting in the bar, adjacent to the ballroom, flitting through the cyber pages of the internet on one's laptop.

I had a jug full of Gin, a bowl full of olives, a roaring fire and my usual newsreader nightwear on...all the things a girl needs for a lazy night in.

My faithful houseboy, Chu Me, had retired to his quarters early to watch one of his specialist nature programs on Sky; this time Dirty Vixens - somethings about foxes one would imagine.

Suddenly in the silence of Crusty Hall my fingers landed on something that made me let out a joyous squeal; reports have suggested that Dannnniiiiiii Minge (sorry my keyboard's sticking) may be fired from the next series of X-Factor. It would appear Miss Tupperware-face herself is getting on other peoples nerves, as well as Crusty's.

It all hinges on whether the lovely Simon Cowell can find someone suitable to replace her before the next auditions start.

Mr. Cowell, Dame Crusty has cleared her diary and is at your disposal, dear!