Give A Cow A Name

There was an interesting news story from my little poppet, Colin his-twinkle-makes-y'-tingle Briggs this morning on BBC Breakfast.

Research has shown that if you give a cow a name and treat it like an individual it will produce more milk and be more productive generally.

This has certainly proved the case with Chef’s assistant. Before when I called her the generic name for my staff, You there!, my morning tea was the colour of tar and her breakfast portions would not have even filled Chu Me.

Now that I have halved her salary and call her You there! Ermentrude! (that’s not her name but it is as good a name as any), I have the most perfect cups of tea and she often pours a generous helping of red hot beans over my bangers.

I wonder if my little poppet, Colin, knew there was also a human side to his story?