Colin Briggs - Welcome Back

Crusty awoke this morning - very early, I hasten to add – to prepare oneself for the moment one had been anticipating for two very long weeks; the return of the George Clooney of breakfast news, Colin his-twinkle-makes-y’tingle Briggs. He had been on a well deserved holiday for a fortnight and despite the prescribed medication I had received from the village doctor, Arthur Pedic and a little something obtained from a youth in the village pub, The Badger’s Snatch, I still felt I had a hole that had been unfilled for the duration.

Anyhoo … this morning, I reclined on one’s bed, with freshly plumped pillows supporting me (thank you, my dearest Chu Me) and a chilled bottle of Pere Ventura Cava in an ice bucket to the right of me. As the time drew ever closer to his returning bulletin, I took a glassful down the hatch in one go, set my flute to one side – this was no time for music - and clapped my hands with glee. The moment arrived and …Goodness me!

Never mind the George Clooney of news, he had returned as the George Hamilton of news! As he sat there in his beautifully colour co-ordinated apparel looking like a Chippendale with beautiful hand made drawers against the bright red background of the BBC North East newsroom. One thing is for certain, Señorita Sun had certainly been kissing his flesh while he was taking time off and his subsequent tanned epidermis made his famous twinkle almost hazardous!

As his first slot ended at 6.30am, he smiled straight to camera – I swear, he was undressing Crusty with his sparkling eyes – and said, “and isn’t it nice to be back?”

It’s not only nice , it’s glorious having you back, dear!