Tuesday, 3 March 2009

Health & Safety? No Thankyou, Dear!

It would appear, my little Crustettes, that Health and Safety representatives are not following their own strict guidelines!

I had a member of this ridiculous organisation around at Crusty Hall the other day. Chu Me was tending to some electrical business in one of the guestrooms and I was relaxing in the oak-panelled bar, just next to the ballroom and very near the main entrance.

Suddenly, one of knockers gave a hefty thud. I got up and sashayed to the front door to find a rather hideous little man, dressed in grey suit, shirt, tie and shoes standing before me.

“Hullo! I’m Grymm” He proclaimed merrily.

After I swallowed a mouthful of Gordons looking him up and down, I said, “Yes, dear, you are ... Very!”

He explained he was from Health and Safety and that he was here to conduct an inspection. I immediately suggested a walk around the grounds would be better than inviting the likes of him inside. Without any choice, he agreed.

A few seconds later, as we turned the corner onto the main terrace, I instantly grew tired of him and snapped my fingers twice. The hobbit turned and muttered, ”remembered something?”

“No, dear! I’m setting the dogs on you!”

Do you know, my darlings, for a short, ungainly creature he moved with remarkable swiftness but the one thing that proved what a fuss and nonsense this Health and Safety is, he didn’t even perform a risk assessment before he clambered frantically over the main gates. Outrageous!!

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