Peter Andre & Katie Price's Split.

Like many of the Crustettes who keep up to date with celebrity gossip, Crusty read with sadness that the nation’s newspaper fodder Katie Price and Peter Andre have separated after only 4½ years together.

I supposed it should come as no surprise to us, or them, as the press have been frantically predicting it every day for …. 4½ years.

They’ve certainly proved a popular couple with books, chat shows and flies on the walls - I even thought I had come across a new one the other night “Crossing Jordan” – I thought you’d need a pretty strong rope and a pair of crampons for that mission, dear, but apparently is was a different Jordan.

One never likes to see Cupid’s shaft of love broken across the knee of fate, especially when people have successfully managed to breed. Crusty wishes them both well for the future.

Should Peter Andre require a retreat to gather his thoughts there is always a place for him at Crusty Hall. There is a bottle of baby oil and thong on standby should he feel the need.