Eurovision 2009 - A Troll and a Fairytale

The dust has settled and Crusty has to say she has mixed feelings about the result of this years Eurovision Song Contest.

The wonderful Graham Norton did a superb job as commentator; one let out many a titter as the night went on. The set was incredible and Crusty feels that we will never see the likes of it again.....

.....and what about our darling Jade Ewen? Wasn't she absolutely fabulous? Draped in a sexy little number laden with glitterati and a pair of heels that could've induced a nose bleed, she blasted out "It's My Time" with all the enthusiasm of a Bigg Market slapper going to a Top Shop sale.

There was one scary moment, however, when Crusty's heart nearly skipped a beat, as I squeezed the neck of one of the kitchen staff; violinist number one actually had the audacity to smack our chanteuse in the dish as she descended the staircase (I know where I'll be sliding his bow should I ever meet him, I can tell you!). She was, however, unphased and gave a flawless performance. The crowd and the international community loved her.

Sadly, the winning song came from Norway, a place steeped in history and drenched in wealth since its people discovered some very large oily deposits in the 70s. Furthermore, Crustettes may not be aware Norway was also ranked the highest of all countries (2001-2006) for their human development and after spending a weekend on a trawler with a cabin full of Norwegian sailors - when ones yacht had stalled out at sea - one can happily confirm this after experiencing their human development first hand.... but that's a story for another occasion.

Anyhoo.... the rather small, troll-like creature, with a mouth the size of paella pan offered us his nation's song Fairytale. In actual fact, after one heard it after the second time it rapidly became a nightmare and one found oneself throwing buffet nibbles at the screen. It would have been glorious if, when flinging his head back and opening that cavernous gob for the high notes, one of the LED screens would have broke from its fixings and dropped on him but alas it was not to be.

One thing is for sure the United Kingdom is back! Jade and Andrew Lloyd Webber have put us back near the top. Roll on next year!!