Dame Crusty Solves The Postal Strike

As readers will know, Crusty does not normally like to step in to the world of politics; one simple doesn't have the right shoes. Nevertheless, while one has been absorbing the daily news bulletins, one sees that the Post Office workers have gone on strike under the direction of their union, the CWU.

All in all it seems the union leaders and the Royal Mail managment have got themselves in a right old pickle. Peter Peggy-on-a-Sunday Mandelson's name has been dragged up but he, quite frankly, doesn't want to get involved.

As a result, the Royal Mail has had to take on casual staff ... and 'casual' certainly applies to the young man who delivers to Crusty Hall; long unkempt hair, baseball cap, shorts and sports pumps; honestly, one feels one has Rafa Nadal forcing his package into one's slot each morning! What ever happened to starched uniforms, polished brogues and a tip of the hat to say Good Morning?

Anyhoo ... having seen interviews with both sides, one can just imagine how the meetings that have been held have played out;

CWU: We're not going to ACAS until you drop your preconditions! [sticking out of tongues]

RM: Well, we're not going to ACAS until you stop your strike! [two fingers stuck up in an erect fashion]

CWU: No! We're not going to ACAS until you drop your preconditions! [lengthy rasp]

RM: We don't care - [pulling of funny face] - because we're not going to ACAS until you call of your strike!

CWU: So what? If you don't drop your preconditions, we'll give you a wedgy.

etc., etc., etc.

Having analysed the whole situation and observed how each party has been dealing with this dispute, one thinks the most appropriate solution to the whole affair is for them to go out into the playground and settle it with a game of Conkers!

Goodness, poppets! You are grown men and women and there are people's livelihoods at stake.