Tuesday, 24 February 2009

More Annoying Than Cheryl Cole? Surely Not!

Just when I thought there was no one more annoying then Cheryl y’nailed-it Cole, I was surpised to come across just that in Michelle Heaton.

Michelle is, as it seems always necessary for magazines to remind us, a former popstar from a group called Liberty X, whose many memorable hits include ……..er…….oh wasn’t …..well, perhaps you can look them up at your leisure!

Crustettes will recognise her from Celebrity Big Brother 2009 and every glossy gossip magazine being published at the moment; she has scarily plucked, shaped eyebrows with a high forehead like a Klingon warrior.

She’s reported to have told New magazine that she feels she could never be a model and Crusty, for one, would never ever want her to be; there’s a certain look that one must have to be successfully splashed across glossy pages and loved by the masses and, sadly dear, you don’t have it.

Crusty believes the proof of the pudding is in the photoshoot carried out by New magazine where they attempt to put Michelle in the same poses as the gorgeous Victoria Beckham from her recent Armani advertisements. In these adverts Victoria pulls off the sultry poses with amazing success, however, poor Michelle ....well ..... she struggles indeed and on one photograph sat at the end of a bed pouting with a short, curly hairstyle actual is more akin to Tom Jones in a black bra and granny pants than the delectable Mrs. B.

Though modelling is clearly not for her, thankfully she is eloquent. In the same magazine she is asked a question about an alleged affair with Eastenders parcel of perfection Matt Di Angelo and answers, “ I answered what I answered last year, so you can get some answers from that."

Don’t try riddles, dear, your boobs will burst!

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