Monday, 24 November 2008

Mark Warr - Save the Tyne Tees Totty

It has been brought to Crusty's attention that there is a potential disaster in the pipeline.

You will recall that ITV has "hit the fan" and are having to make some drastic cut backs. The axe of fate is hovering over the whole company and employees are having to re-apply for their positions and prove their worth.

Here in the North East of England (God love it!), we are proud of many of the presenters we have, both on the BBC and ITV; Her Serene Highness Carol Malia, Colin Briggs (he of the sou'westerlies) and Tyne Tees' own pin-up, Mark Warr (pictured). Of course, there are also others tethered to the other end of the farm yard, such as dear old Bob always hoped his "skitey bits" would turn carnivorous and decide on a slap up meal.

Anyhoo...Mark is now in fear for his job and...quite frankly...I think it is outrageous! I remember the first morning I saw this little hotty on my 28 incher.....I thought my waterbed had sprung a leak...I was saturated! Those boyish good looks, that cheeky smile and that natural charm oozed from every pixel. It was one of those moments I will remember for the rest of my life.

Do we want Mark to be axed, to be tossed out onto the street after his years of dedication, to be slapped across the dish for having to get up at God-only-knows what time in the morning to appear fresh faced and bushy tailed before the viewers?...I would suggest not and I want all my little Crustettes to bombard Tyne Tees studios with emails to save him and ensure that Tyne Tees has a true professional fronting it's news...For God's sake, when this man sits in front of the camera, he practically makes love to it!

We support you Mark!


  1. Crusty my dear....Mark Warr isn't real so there's no need to worry. He's simply a televisual interpretation of a news person - a la Max Headroom. He'll reappear on some little known cable channel some day with a colourful suit on.

    Ophelia Buttocks

  2. Ophelia, you are teasing me and your words pierce the very heart in my ample fake bosom. Mark Warr is very really - nothing imaginary could have such a jaw line - that which could shovel shit. I can only pray that he violates my inner sanctum in repayment for my quest to keep him employed.

  3. Sadly I have to introduce you (so early in our debate) to the fact that I am always right. And my evidence in this case is....

    Argue that one!

  4. In line with recent evidence submitted by my learned colleague, the Defense will withdraw, M'Lud...But I would still rather have Mark Warr on my box than Max Headroom.

  5. Dear Dame Crusty,
    if you could indeed work your bejewelled magic and save Mark, then indeed millions would bow down to your fur-lined Marigolds!

  6. My Dear Crustette,

    Welcome! Though millions already do, I will do all in my power, combined with a little Voodoo picked up from Chu Me's mother(when she's released), to reinstate our beloved hunk of gorgeousness or find him far superior employment, where he will be cherished and nurtured.