Tuesday, 18 August 2009

Iceland Put Kerry Katona Out To Defrost.

One was sitting in one’s bed watching BBC Breakfast this morning, waiting for the George Clooney of regional news to pop on my 28 incher; Colin his-twinkle-makes-y’tingle Briggs.

Now, normally one enjoys the professionalism of young Bill Turnbull and the simply delicious Kate Silverton as they fill in between the north east’s news slots but one had to find a distraction this morning when some woman - being interviewed about the benefits of attending university – was shouting at the two presenters as they sat right next to her. Honestly, if one wanted to hear a shrill, eardrum piercing harpy at that time of the morning one would have turned to the GMTV regional news.
Anyhoo ... one let one’s digits glide over the nodules of the remote and selected the teletext option.

Despite multiple snippets of doom and gloom, there was some happy news amongst the day’s headlines. It would appear that Iceland (the frozen food emporium and not the bankrupt country) has decided to sack Kerry Katona from their advertising campaign. The company said the contract could simply not go on following News of the World stories of her indulging in Class A drugs and being all together beastly in public (one is unclear whether the latter is a recent revelation).

Kerry, a former ‘singer’ with Atomic Mutton, has had her fair share of problems over recent years – one of which was stringing a coherent sentence together on This Morning with the scrumptious Philip Schofield – and it appears they are to continue for the poor poppet.

A spokesman for Iceland said they would be supporting her should she wish to seek help … so one can expect a hefty rise in the price of - what I understand is - the famous prawn’s ring and fish fingers.

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