Saturday, 3 December 2011

Dame Crusty Ponders - Marsh or Quagmire?

On Thursday evening, one was reclining on the chaise in the conservatory watching one’s weekly mental injection of political shenanigans on the glorious BBC; Question Time and This Week.

One normally doesn’t step into the world of politics. One does not possess shoes of adequate dullness, which could be deemed appropriate enough to step into the cess pit of self importance and spin-laden nonsense offered by our MPs.

Anyhoo … having watched a less than eventful Question Time and while waiting for the commencement of the Dame Crusty Follow Friday Frenzy in the Twitterverse, Chu Me poured one a Baccarat tumbler of gin and one settled back to view This Week. There is always a little game Chu Me and I like to play. We see who can guess the colour of Andrew Neil’s hair … against those set out on the Cuprinol colour card. This week he had opted for a dark mahogany (and by the looks of it, one was unclear if he had had it applied with a brush or if he had, instead, been dipped).

During the introduction of this week’s guests, one found a vaporised spray of gin exploding from one’s lips as Andrew described Jodie Marsh as “a bodybuilding glamourpuss”!

One was astounded!

One was not quite sure if “glamourpuss” was the correct descriptive. Yes, the ending could certainly be “uss” … but with a nose that even Michael Jackson would have laughed at and returned for a full refund, one fancies a far more appropriate stem would’ve been “hiddy”.


  1. Dearest Dame Crusty
    Browsing my sometimes uneventful time line on twitter , I saw that you had invited us , your loyal poppets to , to view your latest unique take on the that which is on our televisions.
    Your sense of humour is irresistibly contagious and all I can say is that I never want to recover from it.
    You make me laugh and that in itself is all the medicene any one of us could possibly need .
    Thank you Dame Crusty.
    To me you are a true talent and a rare treasure.

  2. Caroline dear, you are too kind with your warm words. You are a true friend and one that one squeezed into the warmth of one's bosom gladly! Mmmmwah x x x x x

  3. Perhaps, dear DCG, he invited her as part of the Cuprinol Fellowship - a cult, I understand, which uses the aforementioned finish on various parts of their bodies. He, it seems, on his head and she, everywhere else. Perhaps it's the only way he can get a woody, and she can get some polish.