Monday, 2 August 2010

Chiles and Bleakley To Bring Us Face-Ache On ITV.

It has one quite baffled, all of this hoo-har surrounding the signing up to ITV of Adrian Chiles and Christine the-water-skiing-WAG Bleakley.

For those poppets who are unaware, the long running (and extremely bright) breakfast show, GMTV, is being revamped into a new show called ‘Face Ache’ ….[sorry Chu Me? … are you sure, dear?] … apparently it’s ‘Daybreak’ (Though, quite frankly, one fancies the former is more apt where Mr Chiles is involved).

Recently, everybody at the current GMTV show has been resigning at a rate of knots; first Penny Smith, then Andrew Castle (one doubts whether the cogs will turn so smoothly once his oily-slickyness has oozed out of the building) and, as yet, one is unclear what will happen with intrepid reporter John Stapleton – the Jason King of morning news; he’s certainly not getting any younger, so it would be tragic for him to have to hang up his jacket and ties and the Marks and Spencer poly-blend sand safari suit we have come to know and love, whenever he is reporting from a sun-drenched, war-torn country.

But still this frenzy over the new co-hosts is quite unexpected and totally unnecessary. One certainly didn’t find anything special about them on the BBC’s ‘The One Show’. Indeed, the first evening dear Christine was on, one just caught a momentary glimpse of her after hearing the voice and for a moment thought it was Ian Paisley in a summer dress and lipstick. Of course, after an hour of looking much closer, one realised this was not the case.

As for Adrian, one thought the mask of misery etched across his dish was due to the aftermath of saddle sores from his charity bike ride with Alan Shearer. However, one has been assured that this is his natural look (poor poppet!).

Anyhoo … One may have a shufty once the show starts, to acquire a taste of how terrible it all is, but as a rule one tends not to watch ITV in the morning now; ever since the Tyne Tees division cruelly ripped one’s angelic, charismatic poppet, Mark make-my-mouth-water Warr, from one’s pixels during cut backs … only to immediately replace him with an eardrum-piercing Harpy with an appalling wardrobe.

© DCG 2010


  1. I find that there is something oddly compelling about the chemistry between Chiles and Bleakley.

    Watching them together on a sofa during a live broadcast, I am never quite sure who will be the first to crack

    Will it be Bleakly who's self control cracks and gives Chiles a slap around his glumly set jowels?

    Or, will it be Chiles who loses all self control and leaps upon his co-host tearing at her H&M wardrobe?

    I tend to favour the latter, but it is a tough one to call.

  2. Sorry Crusty, this is my fourth reply to this excellent post- by the way I just want to say All the best to you and your husband I wish you all the best for many years to come and I know how you are both loved from a very special small Lady in Tenerife -hope you enjoyed your hamper-
    I salute you both.

    Now I loved the duo of Adrian And his wannabe Chritine, I think that was what made the one show slightly wacthable-we have to watch somthing-
    but as they moved and I don´t believe all I read, if it was for the money! why try and create audience which is asleep for the early morning when your early evening is too tired to watch- even the set similaritises look awkward to me and forced, I have to swith off.
    I just have to go back to Eamon on Sky. sorry but he has -the common touch whoever he works with, I love his banter with the sports comentataors-yes you gusaed it they are girls- but they do pull him up from time to time!! and moe to the point it feels natural.
    So lets see how far this goes, for me Sky with I´ts the only sky chanel we get,- but Eammon monday to thursday-but much better than BBC1 who have become a pale imatation for the news-more of a self promotion an the One Show Breakfast show

    all the best m8 from Tenerife