Sunday, 4 July 2010

Glamour Awards 2010 - Nothing Glamorous About Them, Dear!

One was reminded, recently, of the disgraceful shenanigans that went on at this year’s Glamour Women of the Year Awards in London, hosted by James Corden.

One is unclear of the credence that one can give to these particular awards, particularly when you consider Cheryl y’nailed-it Cole was voted Woman of the Year and Dannniiiiiii Minge (sorry, my keyboard’s sticking) won Personality of the Year, despite never actually showing us she has one. To rub a further palm full of Maldon salt flakes into the gaping sore, Christine Bleakley – a recent addition to the WAG club (her mother must be so proud) – was named Presenter of the Year. One would have liked to have seen the quality of the other nominees in that category to conclude piss-poor Christine was the best! She may have crossed the English Channel on water-skis but one crossed the River Pees Burn in a badly lubricated pedalo and one never received the slightest bit of recognition, just the clap that Chu Me gave me as one disembarqued!

The outfits worn were certainly proof it wasn't a necessarily plush affair. Many of the celebrities snapped in the traditional photos had clearly been dressing in porta-loos without the blessing of a mirror. The ensembles were like that of holiday makers …the things you’d never wear on a night out at home, but in a country two thousand miles away you could get away with because no one knew you. Coincidentally, looking at the stills from the event, one didn't know 95.35% of them.

Anyhoo … the most shocking moment of the proceedings took place during the presentation of the Film Actress of the Year award, won by Zoe Saldana of Avatar fame (though in truth it was the acting of the CGI representation of her that did all the work). Master of ceremonies James Corden introduced the person to present the award, Sir Patrick Stewart and well … what followed wasn’t pretty...

Now, one knows James Corden is like something strange you find in your mouth; you can either swallow it or have a compelling urge to spit it out caused by a natural gag reflex, but on the whole he is quite harmless and apart from the rather irritating false laugh he insists on using, he can be relatively entertaining. However, I do feel that the diplomatic qualities of the former captain of the Starship Enterprise were taking a small holiday when he thought his Shakespearean wit and delivery could attack and embarrass a ‘comedian’ (for want of a better word) in such a public setting.

Nevertheless, the damage is done and poor comedic poppet, James, must battle on despite having his fatulage attacked so publicly by a knight of Her Majesty’s realm. As for Sir Patrick … he must now Troy to engage his fans and Klingon to his reputation, hoping that he can make the incident blow over without being reported. There is no Data, at this stage, to suggest he can make it so.

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