Eurovision 2009 - A Troll and a Fairytale

The dust has settled and Crusty has to say she has mixed feelings about the result of this years Eurovision Song Contest.

The wonderful Graham Norton did a superb job as commentator; one let out many a titter as the night went on. The set was incredible and Crusty feels that we will never see the likes of it again.....

.....and what about our darling Jade Ewen? Wasn't she absolutely fabulous? Draped in a sexy little number laden with glitterati and a pair of heels that could've induced a nose bleed, she blasted out "It's My Time" with all the enthusiasm of a Bigg Market slapper going to a Top Shop sale.

There was one scary moment, however, when Crusty's heart nearly skipped a beat, as I squeezed the neck of one of the kitchen staff; violinist number one actually had the audacity to smack our chanteuse in the dish as she descended the staircase (I know where I'll be sliding his bow should I ever meet him, I can tell you!). She was, however, unphased and gave a flawless performance. The crowd and the international community loved her.

Sadly, the winning song came from Norway, a place steeped in history and drenched in wealth since its people discovered some very large oily deposits in the 70s. Furthermore, Crustettes may not be aware Norway was also ranked the highest of all countries (2001-2006) for their human development and after spending a weekend on a trawler with a cabin full of Norwegian sailors - when ones yacht had stalled out at sea - one can happily confirm this after experiencing their human development first hand.... but that's a story for another occasion.

Anyhoo.... the rather small, troll-like creature, with a mouth the size of paella pan offered us his nation's song Fairytale. In actual fact, after one heard it after the second time it rapidly became a nightmare and one found oneself throwing buffet nibbles at the screen. It would have been glorious if, when flinging his head back and opening that cavernous gob for the high notes, one of the LED screens would have broke from its fixings and dropped on him but alas it was not to be.

One thing is for sure the United Kingdom is back! Jade and Andrew Lloyd Webber have put us back near the top. Roll on next year!!

Jade Ewen - It's My Time?

Crusty is sitting on the edge of her seat for the incredible, glitterlicious extravaganza that is the Eurovision Song Contest, being shown on the glorious BBC tonight.

Chu Me has once again hung Bunty in the ballroom. The household staff are adorned in various European national costumes they have all put together themselves - I am not entirely convinced that the groundsman's apprentice has the ensemble for the Netherlands correct - I suspect there is more to their national dress than a pair of backless leather shorts and a set of nipple clamps. Still as long as he doesn't rest against any of my antique fabrics, I shall accept his attempt.

Crusty herself has squeezed beautifully into a leather, Union Jack catsuit (although around the back there is also the ring of Europe, safely hidden away) with a pair of 6" heeled, thigh-high union jack boots.

Anyhoo... Crusty is looking forward to the first hosting by the gorgeous Graham Norton. One felt it needed to come from a fresher, younger direction and the BBC could not have made a finer choice.

Our own little chanteuse, Jade Ewen, has her work cut out for her and let's hope Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber's song takes her to victory or he will be hung .... though, apparently, he already is.

The song is certainly powerful enough and Jade has a bellow-blasting set of lungs on her for someone so deliciously thin, but there is some stiff competition for the likes of Sweden (Malena Ernman) and even - dare I say it - Estonia and Iceland.

Jade and the nation's favourite Lord can only do their best and Crusty and her household are supporting them 100%.