Caroline Flint Clomps Away From Cabinet

Well, poppets, the state of British politics is certainly bobbing along on the winds of change, is it not? The expenses malarkey has certainly made people stand up and think and certainly made our long, long, long, long ... well, it seems like eternally serving .... Labour politicians stand up and think how quickly and effectively they can stab our Prime Minister in the back.

One has never been particularly fond of Gordon I'm-sinking-faster-than-a-hooker-with-two-minutes Brown but must admit there was a squeal of glee from Crusty's vocal opening when the pool of noxious slime - Brown's predecessor, Tony Blair - was booted out/resigned* (*- delete as appropriate).

Anyhoo .... dressed in something far too tight for her shape - which had clearly been last put on a boil wash in error - Europe Minister Caroline my-haircolour's-natural Flint clomped up the path of Downing Street to deliver her resignation.

She explained to the Prime Minister that he was only using her as "female window dressing".

Goodness me, poppets, he'd need to invest in a substantially wide window and once in situ I would doubt the sight of that one on display would entice anyone into the shop!

Caroline Flint - Europe Minister or Vampire?

It was a cold, cold night and Crusty was draped on the sofa in the drawing room, slowly dropping off watching television while, at the same time, being careful not to tip her tumbler to the point of spillage.

Suddenly, I nearly jumped out of my skin as a shrill scream reverberated throughout the room.

I opened my eyes, my heart pounding in my bosom and saw my faithful houseboy, Chu Me, shaking uncontrollably next to the bookshelves with a rather gorgeous scatter cushion pressed to his face.

“Chu Me! What on earth is the matter? You nearly give me a heart attack!” I shouted.

He explained that he was petrified when ever “this film” was on. Dracula’s Bride was the scariest films he had ever seen.

“But this is Question Time, dear, and that’s not Dracula’s bride….that’s Caroline Flint, our Europe Minister.”

It took me some time to reassure him and prove to him who she was and, finally, he relaxed.

Caroline, dear, a pearl of wisdom from a Dame to someone as insignificant as you… when a lady gets to a certain age (and I think you know what I mean) one really should use lighter colourants on one’s hair. Otherwise the colour drains the face … and, poppet ... it would appear your floodgates have been wedged open.