Swine Flu Gone - The Village is Safe!

The other morning, one was sashaying along the passageway from the conservatory to the library when the telephone rang; it was Ida Rash - one of the Rash triplets. Ida and her siblings Hedda and Ivor, run the village charity shop.

Normally, one would wait for Chu Me to answer the telephone but he had just had one of his specialist nature DVD's delivered and was inspecting it. I believe it was something to do with bears but really, I don't know where his DVDs come from but the spelling is atrocious; do you know, instead of Bears in the Park, they had actually printed Bareass in the Park??!! Still he loves his nature so as long as the documentary is value for money, all is well.

Anyhoo ... Ida Rash told me they had just taken a delivery of some odds and sods from a house clearance and that there was a rather gorgeous piece of Royal Worcester that may be of some interest to Crusty. As Chu Me was a little preoccupied, I decided I would take the Aston and have a quick blast into the village.

It was while I was driving out of Crusty Hall's gates that one bumped into Doctor Arthur Pedic and the village nurse, Angie Gramm. They really should have looked where they were going but, thankfully, other than a cracked helmet and a ripped stocking (Angie Gramm's and not Dr. Pedic's, of course) they appeared to be fine.

One lowered one's window, "Doctor, dear, there's no marks on the front of the car, are there?"

"No, Dame Crusty, You actually hit my leg rather than the bike itself."

"Good show!" I said, " What brings you up to one's home on this gloriously sun drenched day?"

"We were just coming to tell you that the Swine Flu scare seems to be over. We have no further reports of symptoms."

It was indeed marvellous news. One had quarantined Crusty Hall for the past week or so, ever since Angie Gramm had first mentioned the potential outbreak. One even had to put a member of the household staff in the stable block for a week after I saw her runny nose. She said it was hay fever but one thought a week locked up wouldn't hurt and may even toughen her up a bit.

As one sped off to investigate the Royal Worcester find, one got the impression Dr. Pedic and Angie Gramm were looking for a lift - now that their bicycles were slightly bent - but one could not have blood on the leather upholstery, could one? As chance would have it, they seemed quite happy hobbling down the lane as I glanced at them through my rear view mirror.